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 Post subject: Girlfriend
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 10:54 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm
Posts: 17
Location: Warminster
My new girlfriend just said, "After an orgasm, I like to kiss and cuddle, then fall asleep in each others arms. What about you?"

I said, "I usually delete my browsing history and throw the tissues away."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm
Posts: 17
Location: Warminster
I got chatting to a girl in a bar last night and after buying her a drink I said, "I think I should tell you that I suffer from premature ejaculation".

"I admire your honesty", she answered, "But I only met you ten minutes ago, there's no guarantee that I'm going to have sex with you".

"Oh, I know that", I replied, "I just didn't want you to think that I'd wet myself."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm
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Location: Warminster
I was watching TV when my girlfriend said, "I heard you wanking last night."

"Oh come on," I said, "Don't you ever, you know...?"

"Ever what?" she replied.

"You know..." I said, "Don't you ever, you know...?"

"Come on, say it. Don't I ever what?" she replied.

I said, "Don't you ever shut the fuck up?"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:06 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm
Posts: 17
Location: Warminster
I've been asked out by a number of sexy women this week.

That number is sadly zero.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm
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Location: Warminster
I was in the pub with my girlfriend last night when she said, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, babe," I replied, stroking her hair. "What is it?"

She said, "Why are you with me?"

I said, "Because I love you."

She said, "I know, but this is the ladies toilets and I'm trying to have a shit."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm
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Location: Warminster
I went on a backpacking holiday with the girlfriend.

On the first night I said, "I think there's a monster under my bed..."

"Grow up," she replied.

"No, really," I continued. "It's hideous..."

"Stop pissing about," she snapped. "I knew it was a mistake letting you have the top bunk."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 9:45 am 
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Location: yorkshire
:lool:  :-))


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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 8:46 pm 
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LMAO!!!!!  :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 9:41 pm 
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Location: wilts
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

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